One of the lessons we learn as we navigate through life in a fallen world is that many good things can in excess harm you. Fire is useful in a controlled environment, like the burner in my gas hot water heater, or the gas furnace in the crawlspace of my home. I like hot water in my shower, and I enjoy warmth on a cold day
Sex is a wonderful gift of God for men and women. Used properly in the confines of marriage, it's a beautiful expression of the love a husband and wife have for one another. And it results in the human race continuing to populate the planet.
But used in the wrong way, sex can ruin a healthy life, bring destruction to an individual, divide a home, and bring a curse on a nation. So let's examine the right and wrong uses of sexuality in our lives, and bring some much-needed balance to a subject that is demoralized in just about every way conceivable in our day.
With the fall of man, basic human desires have become tools that are exploited by the world, the flesh and the devil. Sex was originally created by God for the propagation of the race and for the enhancement of marriage.1
After the fall of man, basic human desires and drives became selfish and need-centered instead of God-centered. Sexuality was meant by God to propagate life and to enhance the love relationship in marriage. Now, sex is used to bring sin, shame, and hurt to millions. And Satan uses it as a tool to destroy human life and to banish human beings from the presence of a Holy God. So let's bring the subject of sexuality into the twenty-first century, and bring into it the balance of scripture.
Psychologists tell us that the two strongest drives in the human are preservation of life and sexual expression. Innately within us comes the desire to preserve our lives: to eat, to clothe ourselves, and to shelter ourselves from harm. And the second strongest desire in a human is the sexual desire.
This desire is not sinful in itself, for God is the one who gave us the sexual desire in the first place.3 Used according to His plan, sexual expression is a normal part of the way God created us to live
Notice that men and women are unique in creation. All of the male and female animal species were created individually from the dust of the ground. But the woman was formed from the body of the man.4 I believe this was because of the unique sexual relationship that God ordained in marriage. Animals copulate with any other animal within their species.
God created sex as an experience only to be engaged in within the confines of marriage. Hebrews 13:4 states God's intentions clearly: Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed6 undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. The Message Paraphrase states it well: Honor marriage and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex.7
Now let's get real. Any sex outside of the confines of marriage is forbidden by a Holy God. His will is that a person remains a virgin until marriage, and then once married, God's best is that a couple remains married for life!
These standards are being challenged in every way in our day, but scripture gives us the ultimate best that God has for us! Understand that fornication8 (any act of sex outside of marriage), adultery9 (sexual relations with anyone other than one's spouse), lesbianism,10 homosexuality,11 bestiality,12 and pederasty13 (sex with children), are all forbidden by God.14 History provides detailed clues for the curious as to what happens when a culture loses its morals. Rome once ruled the world but fell into ruins because of the lack of self control among its citizen. Reading the literature of that day will show that sexual promiscuity was engaged in without conscience, and was one of the factors that led to the demise of that civilization.15
God's standards of holiness for believers are clear, and are for our protection and wellbeing. Notice 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 (Phillips Translation): God's plan is to make you holy, and that means a clean cut with sexual immorality. Every one of you should learn to control his body, keeping it pure and treating it with respect, and never allowing it to fall victim to lust, as do pagans with no knowledge of God. You cannot break this rule without cheating your fellow men. Indeed God will punish all who do offend in this matter, as we have plainly told you and warned you. The calling of God is not to impurity but to the most thorough purity, and anyone who makes light of the matter is not making light of man's ruling but of God's command. It is not for nothing that the Spirit that God gives us is called the Holy Spirit.20
Paul wrote a letter to the believers in Corinth and told them not to incite a flame of sexual passion in the opposite sex.21 He encouraged self-control and marriage as a way to deal with God-given sexual desires.22
The bottom line is that if we compromise in the area of sexuality, we break fellowship with our Father, open ourselves up to demonic attack,23 and plant the seeds for the destruction of our nation! I want to give some simple guidelines here that will aid the believer in remaining pure and sexually moral before God.
First of all, make a decision to control the sexual appetite until marriage. To begin with, make a choice daily to stay away from lust-filled media, from sitcoms with all their innuendos to the internet with its loads of lustful fare for the flesh. Make a covenant with your eyes,24 and refuse to look upon impurity. Remember that what occupies the eyes and ears fills the heart and controls the person.25 If you sow to the flesh, you reap fleshly desires. If you sow to the spirit, you reap desires for the things of God.26 And remember that you sow with your eyes, your ears, and your thoughts.27
We are to avoid all appearance of evil.28 That means it's important to make a decision to never be alone with the opposite sex if you're single. Plan activities with a group, and refuse to go alone to each other's homes. Christians sin more at night and when they are tired than at any other time, so go home at a decent time. Remember that we are witnesses with our lifestyles, and people are watching us when we least suspect it. You may think going into the home of a person of the opposite sex is innocent, and you may be innocent in your intent, but others around you think carnally. You plant the wrong impression by going into the home of a person of the opposite sex alone! And you are asking for temptations of the flesh to resist! Be wise and don't heed,
It's also wise to hold yourself accountable to a friend who is a strong believer. An accountability partner can provide a strong incentive for purity if you'll meet with that person weekly.
The second guideline for remaining sexually pure before God is that once you're married, commit for life. Never allow the "d" word, divorce, to come out of your mouth as a way to solve problems that arise. Keep the lines of communication open, and be aware that you're bought with a price, and you're not your own. You now belong to Jesus and your spouse. You are responsible before God to meet the needs of your spouse in natural ways, mentally, emotionally, and physically,
Refuse to eat out alone with a person of the opposite sex. As a married person, refuse even to ride in a vehicle alone with the opposite sex. It's just too intimate. Refuse to correspond over the internet with the opposite sex, except with strictly business information. Keep clear of personal relationships carried on in cyber space with the opposite sex. These precautions can save a life from ruin. Read Proverbs 5, 6, and 7 as an incentive for purity in your life. The results of immorality are too clear to overlook in these passages .
The third thing that you can do to remain pure and moral before God is to daily commit to Jesus' Lordship over your life. Commit your mind and emotions to Him. Commit every part of your being to Him, and ask Him to help you with the human desires. Sexual Purity Is Still Very Possible.